Winding

“Core blimey Gaffer look at that”! The time stood still, it was only 7.47am and the designated driver chooses once again to ignore all popular signs, wisdoms, in favour of various dashboard screens on a vehicle I struggle to describe. Make or brand – who knows? It’s neither a 4 x 4 – SUV / people carrier / hatchback or saloon?

Neither has the person driving this thing passed a DVLA test? An Ogre of a man – think Peter Ustinov before liposuction, best suited in archaic times where all one had to do to steer a vehicle was to either whistle or cluck and shout giddy up!

So, after 7, maybe 8, spins around Hampton Court roundabout our nameless vehicle and shameless driver hurtled past the Palace having already been mistaken for either a raving royalist or a potential terrorist hellbent on being caught by her Majesties services before causing any actual harm.

“Winding Wisteria” he again softly whispers as the three fine players from a joint Hampton & Richmond team – hung on for dear life as we made our way toward Redhill. Today a last minute friendly against a team on a winning streak that has outlived the average marriage.

A scorching sun did it’s best to remind us that 1. it still existed and 2, what a thoroughly thought out Manager this was. Fingers firmly on the weather vane, the arranged 8.45am KO time an astute move owing more to the fortune of unintended consequences than anything I could muster.

So, the whistle blew and with a horn and a tally ho, the Knights/Colts set about Redhill like crazed hounds. We had blood, gore and one boy who appeared from the long grass sighting a case of Fata Morgana!?

Steady on Son – more a resultant of the rising physical expectation and a mild case of sun stroke. To be fair he was doing well at the time and I elected to substitute him before form gave way to fatigue or fatigue gave way to form.

Either way saddling up to me on the side line is punishment enough. Half time and we are 3 nil up thanks to the courtesy of Jacob. A scrappy laboured period followed for the next 5 to 10 minutes before Seif added another and then Jacob decided he would like to match his first half hattrick with another in the second. Two finely taken goals came from Kaya who occasionally demonstrates that on top of being a first-class defender, he is a capable lad elsewhere.

Unfortunately, Redhill had given way by this point and began to leave the gates wide open. A spirited performance from their keeper who limped off pitch with a hand that had seen one to many royal weddings.

This one ended Redhill 0 and Hampton & Richmond Knights/Colts combined 9

The journey back was torturous enough – however we were unusually grateful to have returned safely to a traffic pile up that locals call the

Chestnut Parade! Enjoy.

MOTM: Jacob

Notables: Delightful Wisteria