Dig Deep

Reportage by Xavier Wiggins.

Colts 4 Caversham 3.

Journalists have never really liked Wimbledon. I remember one scribe penning that “there was no more perfect microcosm for the ills of English football than the rise and rise of Wimbledon Football Club”. Far from being offended, I remember as a 14 year old finding it quite amusing. Particularly as we had just gone top of the toughest league in world football a few games in to our first season after 3 promotions in 4 seasons.

What I didn’t find so amusing was the Dons never managing to beat Hampton and Richmond in, I think, six attempts. Under the mercurial winger turned tubthumping purveyor of footballing ugliness Alan Devonshire, Hampton managed to create a team in the noughties as unpalatable to us as we once were to the Liverpools, Tottenhams and Manchester Uniteds of this world.

The Wimbledon coverage used to entertain me no end. Harry Bassett said that Alan Cork couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo. How on earth would you come up with that, I mused. A bit harsh on a player who scored in all four divisions for the Dons. I will also not forget one journo describing an early win against Aston Villa (sorry Stef) as organised chaos. I loved that. The walls of my bedroom were adorned top to bottom and side to side with such lunacy in the form of newspaper articles. “Look at me Mum” screamed the back of Today with a beaming Harry and a copy of the league table.

Wimbledon’s own Wealdstone Raider, Vinnie himself, didn’t always take too kindly to the knockers and their incessant put downs. On a trip to Ireland for the ill-fated England game he took matters into his own hands and bit the nose of a Daily Mirror journalist who had been particularly negative. Stitches were required and a bit of a telling off for the former hod carrier.

Now I wouldn’t advocate that sort of behaviour in these more mellow times, but I did love the way in which the Dons used to destroy reputations week after week and I grudgingly saw a little bit of us in the Hampton side of yesteryear. I have underdog in my veins. To support a big club would have made my life, so far, much the poorer. Singing “we won’t win the league and we won’t win the cup, we’re not going down and we’re not going up…..” came far more naturally to me than the grandiose chants of clubs with purchased glories like Chelsea, Manchester City and err Withdean 2000 (look them up. Horrible!).

It is therefore with great disappointment that I am witnessing a HRBFC U14s Colts side that is actually rather good. We are not underdogs anywhere near enough and that is unsettling. Even worse, we have players that are rather good. Opposition Managers are saying nice things. It isn’t right and it has to stop.

So, we had some light relief yesterday from the nauseous positivity of previous matches. Thankfully, the boys showed that they could still be a bit pants by going two nil down against promotion rivals, Caversham Rebels. Now we’re talking. Our strikers were missing bovine posteriors with stringed instruments; our defence was showing more gaps than a Glaswegian’s teeth. In fact, there was no more perfect microcosm for the ills of East Berks Level Three football than the abject misery of this poor-quality encounter.

Unfortunately, that misery lasted just a few dark and moody minutes before order was restored. Two nil, as the terrace sages will tell you, is a dangerous score line. Next goal wins will be the refrain from others. Just before half time is also a “great time to score”. I bet the people who say these things don’t do the lottery until it is a triple roll over as the odd 10 million just isn’t enough to get out of bed for.
I digress…….Again.

All three pearls of wisdom came true yesterday. 2-0 became 2-1 at the break. Then the indomitable Colts equalised early in the second half. 3-2 up. 3-3. Then 4-3 and second spot in the league with the leaders up next. We harried and hassled. Through a squinted eye and a heavy fog, it looked like Steve Galliers, Mick Smith and Co.

I am not sure how much more of this joy I can take.

Scorers: Jacob, Adam 2, Ryan
Crowd: Too happy
MOTM: Aryan and Ryan

Notables:

Ryan has warmed the bench more than David Fairclough used to but has now scored two in two and has played really well. His smile at the end is, as I told his Dad, why we all do this.
Adam’s glorious second goal. Thirty yards out from a delectable through ball.
Spirit. Tonnes and Tonnes of spirit.