Back Back &

I flinch with horror at the sight of a tarantula. These big, beefy spiders strike fear in the hearts of arachnophobes everywhere, but tarantulas are some of the least aggressive and dangerous spiders around. A bite that packs no more punch than a honeybee I am told!?

Let’s face it, Facts and Fear are never easy bedfellows.

Anybody fortunate to have watched the excellent Blue Planet series will quickly realise that whilst Humans are relatively well informed of surface activities of others planets in the solar system, deep ignorance and misunderstanding exists on our very own planet.
The ocean, we discover, houses life forms quite capable of existing in such inhospitable areas of the deep ocean which are rarely touched by light. Think the Oldfield Road training facility at dusk!

Quite remarkable was it then when Sir David Attenborough chanced upon such a school of marine life creatures stringing together enough passes to constitute constructive build up play. Awe struck as usual, Sir David uttered under his rather breathy breath “That’s no way to kick around an inflated pufferfish”. Speechless perhaps, David looked away in disgust as the prickly puffer was hurtled around the deep mid Atlantic in a feverish frenzy.

Today, we discover the Coral Reef’s house collaborative specie that work together in unison rather than eating one another up instantly. Fascinating stuff! Like discovering the human brain weighs about 3lbs, that’s 3 footballs and generates 12-25 watts of electricity that’s only 35 watts short of an average household lightbulb yet at least 5 watts stronger than those at the Oldfield training facility!?

So at home to Mitcham Park Colts, a team having lost only the once this season. The Knights huddled together to reacquaint themselves with familiar faces in the delightful autumn sun. Perhaps giddy with lumens, we began this fixture slow out of the blocks. Mitcham recognising a dip in commitment capitalised at once with a few quick passes and we were one behind. The referee now decides to welcome the visitors by generously awarding Mitcham with a free kick for an infringement just outside of the box. Bang another for Mitcham – balls!

Only at this point we began to realise you have to TRY to win football matches. It’s not a National Lottery scratch card – you actually have to put something tangible in to get something out! The remainder of the game an excellent battle until the 2nd half when the referee consulted a passing buzzard to whistle up for the 2nd unperceivable infringement again just outside the box. Another unstoppable goal emerged from it.

The game finished 2 to 4 and Mitcham take the points. Hard to feel anything but an unyielding sense of injustice. A draw OK – but this was yet another example of Namby-pamby nonsense infiltrating an otherwise wonderful sport.

The expression Namby-Pamby is thought to have originated as a response to sycophantic sentimental poems by Poet and Playwright “Ambrose Philips (1674-1749). Tutor to George 1st grandchildren.

Real poets regaled with horror at such self-serving guff by responding with their own poems as way of response. Here below is just one such response from Henry Carey in 1725.

All ye poets of the age,
All ye witlings of the stage …
Namby-Pamby is your guide,
Albion's joy, Hibernia's pride.
Namby-Pamby, pilly-piss,
Rhimy-pim'd on Missy Miss
Tartaretta Tartaree
From the navel to the knee;
That her father's gracy grace
Might give him a placy place.

Anyway excellent goal from Ben Roohan and a Penalty from Max Adams.

MOTM goes to the entire team for illustrating elements of restraint with officialdom.

Song – “Back & Forth” by Cameo – look out for legendary Miles Davies at 1m 54 –enjoy!