Pick Yourself

Adjectives such as; alpha male, macho, dare I say “daring”? All NOW unpopular words and forms of expression that describe behavioural patterns of a time not too distant past. Each male born now appears somewhat diluted; quashed, washed, stitched then threaded into inappropriate skinny jeans, before being pushed through a mangle and left hung out to dry on a washing line by the beard on a wet day.

For what greater purpose was this appropriation of the human male? Surely such deliberate efforts of refinement are at odds with our species. Like all those gnomes that have lost their fishing rods, the Modern Man hankers for something/anything tangible to do! So unable to complete even the one pull up, we fail to securely grasp onto any handle and have let ourselves slip into a maelstrom of mediocrity.

Heavy?

As evidence and testimony to this I call upon the following apparatus and shall leave you to make up a decision before squandering and frittering away the time you have in wild abandon.

“Beard oil; beards, skinny trousers, huge pumps, huge phones, fade haircuts, selfies whilst winking and drinking are driving me blinking mad”.

The Football Kit bag surely needs to be added to make an 8th wonder of the world. So full it is that I am convinced that anything that ever existed or ever was seems to have found a home inside my one. All completely defunct and uncalled for of course and again like the modern man, prevent anything actually useful from getting in?

You have for instance the following, pegs, pens, mud, pumps, clothing belonging to the team, clothing belonging to other people’s teams, shin pads, boots, studs, first aid box, magnetic strategic board, mud cakes, sweet wrappers, old pens, bolt cutters and finally mauve stockings?

If the last match was painful this one has left us as winded and deflated as Anthony Joshua’s punch bag. Away to Doverhouse Lions Pinks, the Knights outperformed by enlarge a good side for large segments of this competitive game.

Missing key conductor Arvinho, the stand in players performed well enough yet Arvinho has that uncanny ability to intercept ball after ball. So capable of late that it’s not uncommon to wintess him juggle four balls at once whilst placing a nice pass out to the wing with one foot and retrieving a ball from an adjacent pitch with the other.

He missed today’s game because he had a knot in his neck however the true story is more likely to be something like this - tied his laces so tight last week he was left stranded when unable to untie numerous knots, loops and bows in time for a 10.00am KO in delightfully housed Roehampton.

All said we commanded enough of this game and really should have closed it out but for 2 or 3 cat quick Doverhouse lads who irritated our defence throughout. 3 to 1 up then with Jacob, Leo & Louis taking a goal each when Doverhouse’s resilient speedos (that sounds odd) capitalised on our eagerness to plough forward and earned a draw against us at the games dying death. 3 All – slump.

Yes there was the usual, iffy pass me the jiffy bag, referee & linesman decisions but that’s becoming the norm! So we plough on turning the key of this factory fitted Ferrari before disappearing from Roehampton tarnished more tarnished than varnished.

Notable performances: Leo Kinchin – languid and loquacious – none of us are certain what actually makes this young man’s clock tick. He has a footballer’s vision and if the rest of his body could just catch up, a valuable and important link up player who can score goals. Took his delightfully today and impressed.

A song “Pick Myself Up” taken from the Bush Doctor album from 1978. Inspirational was and is the late great Peter Tosh – Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DgL93A1NqE